Part of me has been afraid to post this because I don't want to jinx anything. But I just realized that I need to go on faith. And I owe it to this baby to keep a record of my thoughts just like I did with Van. So, here is the letter I wrote to the little one when I found out I was pregnant.
Dear Baby,
Hi my little one. I never thought I would be writing you this letter so soon. I am sitting here in disbelief. I can't believe you're ready to come down so soon, but I am so excited I can hardly stand it. I can already tell that you will be quite different from your big brother. Your dad and I tried to get him to come down to us for over 4 years, and you want to know how long you took? 1 MONTH. Looks like you're just rearing to go. I never thought this would happen, but I'm so happy that it did.
See, your dad and I have always had this picture in our minds of our family. We always wanted you kids to be close. But after years of waiting with Van, we just accepted that it was out of our hands. We knew you would come down when you were ready and when Heavenly Father was ready to let you go. But what do ya know? 18 months apart is pretty close in my book.
I have so many questions in my mind right now. Are you a boy or a girl? Will you look like Van (a replica of Daddy) or will you look like me? What will you be like? I'm so excited to find out. You know what little bit? I think you're pretty lucky. I have some experience this time around. Van had to suffer through it while I tried and failed at so many things as a first time mom. Don't get me wrong, I'll still make mistakes, but at least I've got some clue as to what I'm doing. But who knows, I'll probably take one look at your sweet little face and all my knowledge and experience will fly right out the window. I think Heavenly Father makes it like that on purpose, so we always remember who's really in charge.
But I can tell you one thing for sure. You will have the most amazing big brother. He will love you and watch out for you your whole life. I hope you will be best buds and always depend on each other. My brothers and sisters always kept me where I needed to be. I've leaned on them many times in my life when I didn't know where else to turn. Please stay close to your brother. You will keep each other strong.
Little one, I already love you. I'm so excited for what's to come. Please stay safe in there. I love you, I love you, I love you.
Love,
Mama
1 day ago
1 comments:
Aw I love your letters Niki. And I love seeing your faith and story unfold. Everything's gonna be fine! And 18 months apart is a wonderful (busy) age difference. Van will be old enough to be intrigued and in love with the baby, but young enough yet that he's not in the "mine!" stage (although that still does come much to my surprise ha ha). Best of all? Van will start nursery right when the new little one will be here, which is perfect timing in my book. Otherwise I would have lived in the mother's lounge the last two hours of church ha ha. I can't say this enough! I love reading about your little miracles. It reminds me that Heavenly Father does indeed have a plan for us all!
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